Photo Journaling Ethan's Surgery Progress?

I know the title sounds a bit morbid; photo journaling my son's reconstructive surgery. BUT, I have got to tell you how insane it was for me trying to google images of this surgery and finding NOTHING - no stories on similar surgeries, NOTHING.

As a parent sometimes our first source to turn to for information and reassuring photos is the internet, and for me to not be able to find anything was HARD.

I imagine there are TONS of other people who are told the same thing we were told and they should know to never just trust one doctor and always get a second opinion..I know I would find something like Ethan's story and his healing photos VERY helpful. I know I WISHED to the high heavens I would have been able to find something to ease me for it all, and there was jack!

I also think as stressed as I was, I know JUST what parents who have a little boy w/ the same defect would be going through and they'd find it resourceful to know how he healed, how the surgery went and see photos of his daily progression.

The first couple of days were icky looking the last day in particular was GROSS. But today things are really taking a turn for the best and I am so happy!! I honestly thought (as bad as it looked initially) that it would look far worse, the doctor made it out to be uglier than it was, and truth be told as he is healing I am seeing what remarkable work he REALLY did do. It is amazing to me how he could use the foreskin to regraft his penile shaft where he did not have adequate skin and it trapped everything inside. AMAZING!

All the while he had explained the procedure to me I still couldn't figure it out, it was too hard for me to wrap my head around and grasp exactly what he was saying.

I really think other parents who are facing the same nightmare we went through earlier in the year would be able to breath a sigh of relief if they saw Ethan's story and were able to compare it to their own child's and know there IS hope. I also shudder to think how many other parents were misdiagnosed and told their children had micro penis as well when it really wasn't that at all but rather a congenital buried/trapped penis. As much as I hate my pediatrician for the nightmare she put us through with a misdiagnosis, I am VERY thankful she stopped the circumsicion because the urologist told us had they done it and she hadn't stopped it the obgyn would of botched it and he'd never have a normal penis b/c he would of not had that foreskin to use as a graft to reconstruct the shaft!

I really have so much thanks to give to Dr. Bukowski, he really did great work, if you could see the before and after, it's just amazing! (granted it's not the prettiest thing during the healing process) it is just NORMAL!! I am sure there will be scaring but the best thing for me is knowing that our prayers and cries were not made in vain and that when no one else heard us, Dr. Bukowski stepped up and helped, he did perfect work and he was just a wonderful surgeon and urologist. I am greatful that Ethan was able to have this done now as opposed to later where he would remember it and or not want to do it, and I am thankful Dr. Bukowski did it before he hit any stage in his life where he would have to face the dreaded locker room scenario and not be able to explain his birth defect to his peers.

I never really cared how things looked b/c he is my son and I love him no matter what, but what I cared about and what hurt me more than anything was knowing he'd be at some point in his life wondering why he was different and if I didn't step up and force myself to argue with his pediatrician, and force myself to dial every pediatric urologist in North Carolina even though so many people wouldn't give us the time of day, I'd always hate myself for giving up.

And Dr. Bukowski I believe really was Ethan's saving grace, I am so thankful we were able to find him and that he didn't give us the cold shoulder like everyone else. I am thankful in a sense everyone else turned us away b/c of that we were able to find the best of the best and again, I really do know deep in my heart God answered my prayers when he heard my begging for Ethan not to have the micro penis condition, and begging for someone to properly diagnose his condition, and then later begging for it to be able to be treated and fixed.

This year was the worst year but it was also a year to be thankful for as well as a year to learn and grow from. Sometimes we question why we are put in certain life situations and we say we are not strong enough, but the truth is everyone is really stronger than they think they are and any situation you hate in your life could ALWAYS be worse...and I only wish his urologist and the staff knew just how much I really am thankful from the bottom of my heart for every single last thing they did for Ethan. How do you begin to thank someone for changing your son and making the correct diagnosis and treatment? I just hope they will one day know how much we appreciate all they did.